After Carol and Susan's Wedding
by readblast
Summary: Monica and Chandler talk relationships and weddings. S2 Pre-Mondler.


He'd been quieter since the conversation about who would be the last one of their group to get married. She felt guilty for asking the question in the first place, knowing exactly how insecure Chandler was about the subject since his freak out when Heckles died. He could spend so much time making fun of other people and himself that it was easy to forget just how sensitive he had become about his disastrous love life lately. He rarely let anyone see his vulnerabilities so it had troubled her to see just how vehemently Chandler had insisted he would end up alone. All she had wanted to do was make him feel better. Monica thought that maybe she understood how he felt more than the others. She had her own moments of insecurity about her dating life and feeling worried she'd never find the right guy. The guy she saw being her adoring husband and doting father to her three kids.

Monica was clearing the last of the empty bottles from the coffee table when she cast a sideways glance at Chandler. The others had all gradually left and Rachel had just gone to bed minutes before leaving being Chandler the only one still there. He was sitting in the armchair, his attention on picking at the label on the bottle of beer in his hands.

"Hey," Monica said, nudging his leg with her foot to get his attention. "Aren't you finished with that?"

Chandler looked up at her for a moment and sighed quietly before handing her the empty beer bottle. Monica took the bottle from him and placed it in the trash bag as she watched Chandler slouch further into the chair, putting his elbow on the armrest and propping his head up with his hand.

"There's still some cake left," Monica announced as turned back towards the kitchen to try and get his attention. "You want some?"

"Hmm?" Chandler answered, distracted. "Yeah, why not."

Chandler got up and made his way over to sit next to Monica at the kitchen table.

"You have fun at the wedding?" Monica asked as she placed a slice of cake in front of him before cutting a slice for herself.

"Sure," Chandler shrugged. "Good to see Ross come through for Carol. It seemed to mean a lot to her that he was there."

"Yeah, it really did," Monica said, not surprised at Chandler's attempt to keep the subject away from his obvious brooding. "The wedding was beautiful."

"It was," Chandler nodded and smiled slightly before digging into the cake in front of him.

"Reception sucked big time though," Monica added.

Chandler chuckled, surprised at her admission. "I don't know. The food was good," he said, gesturing towards the cake before taking another bite.

"Well yeah," Monica said, smiling as she too dug into her slice of cake. "It wasn't a great wedding to try and meet someone at though. For either of us."

"Eh," Chandler responded, mulling it over. "Could've been worse."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah," Chandler said. "If you're going to strike out, it's much better to strike out at a lesbian wedding."

Monica shrugged and nodded in agreement. They both ate their cake in silence for a few moments.

"I'm sorry about before," Monica said suddenly as Chandler looked up at her questioningly. "I mean for the whole 'who do you think will get married last' thing."

"Oh," Chandler said as he looked away.

"We were just kidding around."

"Mon, I know," Chandler rolled his eyes. "It's fine."

"Do you think about it?" Monica said, trying to sound casual. "Getting married?"

Chandler sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know, I guess, sometimes."

"You do?" Monica said, smirking at him.

Chandler narrowed his eyes at her. "Yeah, so? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" Monica asked innocently.

"Like you have something on me," Chandler said, glaring at her. "I occasionally think about things like getting married, so what. I also think about what life might be like if my secretary was ever in a good mood."

Monica just continued to smirk at him.

"What?" he said defensively.

"Nothing, I just think it's funny," Monica replied. "You're not as scared as you think you are."

"Really?" Chandler answered, sounding dubious. "You wanna bet?"

Monica smiled as she leaned in closer. "What kind of stuff do you think about? Do you think about your wedding?"

Chandler shook his head and rolled his eyes. "I'm a guy, Mon."

"That doesn't mean anything," Monica shrugged. "Ross knew what he wanted for his wedding down to the flower arrangements."

Chandler just looked at her and raised an eyebrow pointedly.

"Ok bad example," Monica admitted, causing Chandler to snort. "So you don't think about your wedding?"

Chandler shook his head. "Not really."

"You want to know what my wedding would be like?"

"No, Monica, that's okay," he answered, holding up a hand to stop her. "I don't need to know why you're having sunflowers at your wedding instead of roses or whatever."

"Sunflowers?" Monica said incredulously. "Really, Chandler? At my wedding?"

"I don't… What do I know?!" he said, indignant.

Monica shook her head at him in bewilderment for a few moments before continuing. "I suppose I don't think about the actual wedding as much as I used to when I was growing up. I mean what I want for my wedding day hasn't changed much over the years. I spend more time now wondering what the person I'll marry will be like. How many kids we'll have. Stuff like that."

"Hmm," Chandler nodded in acknowledgement as he took another bite of cake. "I can see that."

"Yeah?" Monica said, her eyes lighting up. "You think about that too?"

"I didn't say that," Chandler said defensively pointing his fork at her. "I meant I can see you thinking about it."

"Oh come on," Monica cajoled. "Give me something. Just tell me one thing you think about."

"I don't think about anything," Chandler answered as he carefully avoided Monica's probing gaze.

"Yes you do, you admitted it," Monica insisted. "You must at least have an idea of the kind of woman you want to marry."

"Maybe," Chandler said with a touch of petulance. "Doesn't mean she'd want to marry me."

"Well sure, honey, if it's Yasmine Bleeth then you might want to lower your expectations a little," Monica teased him. She was pleased to notice him smile slightly at the comment but he remained silent.

"Chandler, come on."

"I don't want to."

"Why not?"

Chandler rolled his eyes at her persistence as he tried to ignore her but he knew Monica well enough to know she wasn't going to let the subject drop.

"I'll tell you what my husband would be like," Monica offered and paused for a moment, waiting for Chandler to respond. She took his silence as encouragement to continue. "Okay so he'd be handsome obviously and preferably tall. Really smart. He'd be sweet and charming. I don't know what career he should have. The childhood dream has always been a doctor but he'd have to be one who didn't work long hours so I don't know if that will work. I'd want him to be around for the kids."

Chandler couldn't help smiling at her wistful expression. "How many kids will you have?"

"Three," Monica said straight away. "Two girls and a boy. Got to at least have one of each."

"Well sure," Chandler nodded and smiled fondly at her.

"Right, so come on, Bing," Monica demanded. "Your turn. What's your future wife going to be like?"

Chandler sighed and paused for a moment to unnecessarily push the remainder of his cake around the plate before answering.

"She'd be really beautiful," he started as he felt his face grow a little warm with embarrassment. "And kind. Smart, hopefully much smarter than me."

"Really?" Monica said, surprised. "Most guys don't want a woman smarter than them."

"See, I don't get that," Chandler shook his head. "I once went out with a woman who took everything I said literally. Can you imagine how long that date felt to me?"

Monica burst out laughing. "I get that you want someone smart because you're smart. But smarter than you?"

"I'm going idealistic here," Chandler said, a touch defensive.

"I know," Monica assured him. "I'm just saying it's unusual. You'd really prefer it?"

Chandler nodded, slightly unnerved at her curiosity. "Well yeah, I want to be with someone interesting. The women I've been most attracted to in the past usually have great insights and strong opinions. I like someone who has plenty to talk about, someone who challenges me."

"Huh," Monica looked at him stunned, somehow not expecting that answer. "That's good, we're making progress. So what else?"

"I don't know," Chandler said as he turned his gaze back to the cake on his plate, uncomfortable now with the revealing nature of the conversation.

"Yes, you do," Monica chastised him as she sensed there was more. "You can tell me."

The truth was he'd realized recently he was constantly falling for women who were way too good for him. The more he thought about what his ideal partner would be like, the more he realized how unattainable it all sounded. He wanted her to be beautiful, to have things in common with him, he wanted to be able to make her laugh. He wanted her to hopefully be smarter than he was not just because it kept things interesting but because maybe he _needed_ someone smarter and more capable than him to counteract his own moments of idiocy.

He wanted a cast-iron guarantee that he would fall in love with someone who loved him back and would never leave him. The idea of finding 'the one' only for her to leave when she realized she could do better scared him. And going by his parents and his own relationships, it seemed inevitable it would happen.

Monica was right. He definitely had to lower his expectations.

"Mon, I don't want to talk about this stuff," Chandler said eventually, avoiding Monica's gaze.

"Why not?" Monica said, sounding truly puzzled.

Chandler looked back at her. "Because I suck at relationships. I'm Mr Heckles the second, okay? You guys will go off and get married and I can be the weird uncle that freaks out your kids."

"Chandler," Monica sighed, resting a hand on his forearm. "I thought we'd been over this. You can't still believe that."

He shrugged. "You guys were right, I'm superficial. If I'm not repelling women then I'm finding something wrong with them. I should be grateful for anyone who'll go out with me."

"That's not true," Monica said softly. "You know what your problem is?"

Chandler let out an annoyed sigh before retorting, "That I hate Joanie and Chachi?"

"You put too much pressure on yourself," Monica replied, ignoring his sarcasm. "And there's no need to do that, you've got a lot going for you. You're attractive, you're fun to be around, you're pretty good at flirting..."

"Flirting? Really?" Chandler raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Well yeah, you flirt all the time," Monica said as if it were obvious.

"No I don't," Chandler replied, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Oh please," Monica said. "You're always flirting with waitresses and supermarket check out girls."

"That's just being friendly, I like to make conversation," Chandler said, waving dismissively.

"You like to flirt and make a woman laugh," Monica corrected. "And you know what, you're more mature and willing to be in a relationship than you give yourself credit for. Chandler, these are all things women find incredibly attractive in a man."

Chandler cringed slightly, feeling uncomfortable and unsure how to respond to that as he redirected his attention to the cake crumbs on the plate in front of him.

"Thanks, Mon," Chandler said eventually.

"You're welcome," Monica replied.

"Any idea where to find these women?" Chandler tried to quip in an attempt to break the serious atmosphere.

Monica rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "They're everywhere, Chandler. I meant what I said, just don't put so much pressure on yourself. You ever heard of 'stop looking and they will come to you'?"

"Yeah…" he responded drearily.

"Well that's what I'm doing," Monica informed him. "Follow my lead. I should get Mr Right landing in my lap any day now."

"Hopefully not from a great height," Chandler said pointedly. "Also he sounds kind of clumsy, are you sure he's going to be this charming husband guy of your dreams?"

Monica picked up her tea towel and whacked him with it as she mock scowled at him. He ducked as he laughed at her and she felt inwardly smug that he was laughing and joking again because of her.


End file.
